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Forgive Me...

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Description

Okay to sum this up, I've been looking back to see that my friendships don't really last as long as I hope either that or I'm just isolated and alone. So what happens is that I create an imaginary place for myself to make up for that loneliness, a place where I find sanctuary...where there's at least some excitement in my life. But when I meet new people and get to befriend them, my life is so intuned with my imaginary place and people that I can't see the difference between reality and what is make believe anymore. The result of this ends up being my new friends either avoiding me or just stop being my friend all together and I'm forgotten eventually in their minds.
Now I met two people that accept me for who I am and have come to accept the realm part of me, even become a part of that realm. But I go overboard, which causes them a lot of trouble with me. It 's a problem I have to resolve and soon, but what else do I have to do to try to spend time with my friends and family at the same time? My family wants me to be with them and sometimes my friends ask me if I can spend some time with them too afterschool hours, but I can't decide nor could I decide for I never have a voice in the matter cause someone manages to decide for me before I have a say. I can't be in two places at one time and it hurts that I can't really spend the time I have with both my friends and family evenly. It starts to suffocate to the point I can't breathe and it hurts a lot that sometimes I'm forced to cry. I want to be with my friends, I really do, but I'm always cooped up in my room instead of outside for I can't go anywhere without my family or someone within my family. Rarely I go out with my friends and not once have I visited a friend at their house (unless it's a special event and that's even rarer for me to go to) or have a friend come over to my own. So basically this is just building up inside and I don't really know what to do anymore, I can't hide it anymore. So this pic is to represent my apology to both my friends and my family cause frankly, I'm losing myself each day when I can't find out who I am sometimes.

Artwork (c) :iconchaosphoniex:
Image size
2048x1536px 317.52 KB
Make
Nokia
Model
5800 Xpres
Shutter Speed
1/30 second
Aperture
F/2.8
Focal Length
4 mm
ISO Speed
73
Date Taken
Jul 15, 2011, 3:25:57 PM
© 2011 - 2024 chaosphoniex
Comments5
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YumeMedley's avatar
I was feeling bad today and this picture sums up how I felt.

I get how you feel. (Not with your friends and stuff, but the feeling where you just need to cry and want to stop suffocating in this madness) I made a pic like this recently.

Straight to favs